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Stark to serve 3 game suspension after girlfriend discovers internet search history

By Garth Belic | 11 April 2017

"Kill it, kill it with fire", screamed a terrified Louise, Tristan Stark's girlfriend.

Stark is to serve a self-imposed 3 game suspension after his girlfriend inadvertently clicked on his internet browser history. The flamboyant assistant coach and Griffin back rower said that his research into sexually questionable innuendo is an important part of male bonding for a rugby team.

Tristan Stark will often paste pictures and short films in the Griffins players Facebook page, with the lofty goal of making at least three teammates spew over their cornflakes each week. The content is mainly based around obese cross-dressing dancers with unusually high self esteem, but can often also feature nude baby boomers performing various forms of erotica.

"I love tagging Poddy and Books, but I am starting to branch out", explained Stark. "It is important, I think, for our new players to be sexually confused in their first few weeks with the club."

In serving his 3 game suspension, Stark has been required to complete an internet etiquette course prior to returning. Piddington's Internet Safety School, or P.I.S.S., will be taking Stark through a crash course on the do's and don'ts of not being a sexual predator to his teammates online. Stark, by all reports, is looking forward to taking the P.I.S.S.

More to come.