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Griffins also get a guest speaker named Alan Jones to speak at luncheon

By Garth Belic | 8 April 2017

To not be outdone by NHRU News, the Griffins Gazette found a bloke named Alan Jones who drinks at the Hamilton Station Hotel to speak at their inaugural inpromptu luncheon.

Jones, whose never seen a Griffins match, said being asked to speak to a crowd of Griffins players, fans and dignitaries was a great honour.

Jones was introduced to the club after regularly singing Shannon Noll songs at the Hamilton Station Hotel. "I just can't get enough of Nollsie that shagga", said Jones after lighting a dart. "What about [email protected]#$%ken me Nollsie aa aa aa aa *cough."

Jones spoke to fans for 45 minutes on topics such as social security, One Nation and how things were tougher in his day. He also spoke about his playing days back at Port Hunter and described the current era of rugby as 'soft as shit'.

"Oi but nah, when i'd play in the forwards ay, you wouldn't get away with this shit scrum these homos do now. You'd break ol mates neck and ave a VB wivim after ay. Thats rugby ay". 

Jones, whose believed to be the lesser known half uncle of "injured" (?) hooker Micheal Jones-Hall, captivated the crowd and by all accounts was the best presentation of the night, and better than any given at the NHRU luncheon.

More to come.